Partnering with Parents When You Don’t Know Where to Start
Right from the beginning, let’s just make one thing clear, getting parents to implement discipleship rhythms at home is not solely your responsibility. You cannot carry that burden and you were never meant to carry that burden. The whole idea of partnering with parents is that you are partnering with them. They have a role and you have a role—you share in the load and work together. Parents are called to be the primary spiritual voice in the life of their kids and you as a kids ministry leader, are called to support them by teaching the Gospel on Sunday mornings and equipping them with resources to use throughout the week.
If only it was that easy, right? The list of barriers keeping parents from implementing discipleship rhythms at home is long and constantly growing—you can probably think of a few off the top of your head. From not feeling equipped to not having time, discipleship at home is hard. How can you as the kids ministry leader truly partner with your parents and not feel responsible when they just don’t do it? How many of you can relate to printing out a ton of take home sheets and putting hours and hours into creating devotionals to only realize that no one is opening your emails and those take home sheets end up in the trash? It can be heartbreaking and cause you to question the impact you are actually making.
Your job as kids ministry leaders is not to guilt parents into discipleship. Your job is to be a consistent voice that equips, encourages and celebrates parents right where they are at.
Most kids ministries are made up of families all over the faith spectrum. You have the opportunity to connect with your parents to see who they are, what they need, and how you can serve them best. Let’s talk about three practical ways you can partner with parents when you aren’t really sure where to start.
Show up, often
I know, I know—church attendance is all over the place in this post-COVID world we are living in. It is hard to know who your families are and if they are going to stick around. Everyone is feeling this, not just you. Showing up often means you show up beyond just Sunday mornings. Your presence matters greatly on Sunday mornings and those few hours can be great place to have conversations, but they are often short, surface level, and interrupted. Showing up can mean virtually in emails, texts and social media. These are easy wins and you are probably already doing this. More importantly than showing up virtually is showing up physically. Think about the places your parents are. Maybe it’s a moms/dads group, a park after school, or a small group. Whether you are married with kids or single, there are so many ways to have fun with the parents in your ministry. When you show up consistently over a long period of time, you build trust and relational equity. Over time, parents begin to realize your consistent presence and that you truly care about them beyond serving in a classroom. When you only call them when you need to fill a classroom, will they keep answering the phone? Nope! Those small steps of intentionality break down barriers and allows parents and kids the space to ask questions and seek advice. In those spaces you can encourage and equip parents in their faith and in the ways they are leading their family. Showing up takes effort and it doesn’t happen over night.
Check-in, seasonally
You may have an incredible list of resources for parents, but do you know what your parents actually need and do they know how to access your resource list? The act of asking, “what do you need?” Or “how can I help you?” Can be a life altering question. Checking in at pivotal moments throughout the year will only help you as you learn to partner with parents. I have seen this best done in the context of parent roundtables. Invite a handful of parens to join you for a meal and ask specific questions. Make sure you have a diverse set of parents covering different age groups and different demographics. This is your time to listen and learn. Hear what is hard and what they are struggling with. Listen to the hard conversations they are having in their homes and how you and your volunteers can support them on Sunday mornings. Some examples of questions can be:
-What is keeping you from creating discipleship rhythms at home?
-What is one rhythm you want to keep in this next season?
-What hot topic conversations do you wish the church would talk about?
-How can we help you navigate your current season of parenting?
-How can we help you prepare for the next season of parenting?
These conversations will help you look for the right resources to help support your parents. It could be a podcast about technology or a calendar that encourages parents to pray with their kids. Whatever it is, when you know what is needed, it is so much easier to make a lasting impact.
Pray, constantly
Prayer has power and you should always be praying for your parents and over your parents. Parenting is hard at any stage and parents need all the prayer they can get. Pick a few parents each week and send them a text asking for prayer requests or simply share that you prayed for them. Pray for wisdom, confidence, patience, and strength. Pray that the Holy Spirit would continue to work in and through them to disciple their kids. Invite your parents to pray for your ministry. Build a kids ministry prayer team that prays together every Sunday morning. Make prayer the first step and firm foundation of all that you do.
These 3 steps are simply a guide and not a full-proof plan. There will always be barriers keeping parents from at home discipleship, but we all know that God is bigger than those barriers. You have to trust that God is working whether you see it or not. You must keep preaching the Gospel, providing great resources and encouraging parents no matter what. You may never know what that one conversation or text meant to a parent. Your small acts of faithfulness will be used by God in big ways.