The Sunday Morning Worry Monster
Have you ever heard the term “worry monster”? I heard it first as I was reading through Raising Worry Free Girls by Sissy Goff. The term “worry monster” allows us to give a name to all of those intrusive thoughts, irrational fears, and worries that can sometimes take over our heart and mind. Some kids like to give their worry monster a name and what I’ve learned is that when you acknowledge your worry monster, it loses power. When we name it, we can use tools to start to fight it.
Sissy is most known for her work with children and families, but as I am reading her books and being so encouraged by her, I can’t help but think of my own life, my own worry monsters, and how this plays into how I have led teams in the world of kids ministry.
Anxiety before and on Sunday morning is a real thing. Maybe you’ve seen the ministry leader or have been the ministry leader with big “dear in the headlight” eyes. You are frozen with anxiety all because a volunteer is running 5 minutes late or because you have to turn away a family due to lack of space. I have been there. I have some wild Sunday morning stories that include everything from water falling from the ceiling HVAC unit to a kid falling on the floor and blood gushing from his nose with nothing to catch it but my hands. I’ve had moments of udder confusion and moments where my anxious thoughts were nothing but wasted energy.
I’ve talked to so many leaders who struggle with managing their worries and anxieties around kids ministry and volunteers. We should care and we should strive for excellence, but walking into church anxious is not a way to play the long game.
Sissy Goff said in a podcast recently that, “anxiety is a response to cumulative stress over a long period of time”. Anyone in kids ministry relate to a long period of stress? Sissy also goes on to talking about ways that anxiety impacts you and I am going to share a few ways I’ve seen anxiety impact kids ministry leaders.
Anxiety distracts us: When you are anxious about what could happen, it distracts you from what is happening. If you are so worried about what will or will not happen on a Sunday morning, it will keep you from being present with what is actually happening. Worry and anxiety distracts us from our goal, teaching kids about Jesus.
Anxiety makes us micromanage: When we feel anxious around things we can’t control, like volunteers showing up on time, check-in computers, or the amount of kids showing up to church we tend to micromanage what we can control—the little things. No volunteer wants to be micromanaged and that creates such a sour team dynamic.
Anxiety trickles down to your volunteers and kids: Often times when kids ministry leaders are dealing with worry and anxiety, their intensity can negatively impact their team and the families. Your anxiety and worry will keep you from being warm and welcoming. Your intensity around last minute problems will trickle down to how your teams solve problems. Remember, you set the tone for your hallways. When you are trusting God and full of peace, your team will follow.
So what do we do? I wish I had all the answers. Every story is different. For some of us these 3 suggestions below will help, but other may need to seek our a christian counselor. There are incredible counselors that specialize in ministry leaders and church life.
We must trust God—like really trust God: On Saturday night or on your way to church on Sunday morning, hand God all your worries and anxieties. God cares and loves for your church way more than you ever will. As problems arise, you can stop and seek wisdom. You have the power of the Holy Spirit within you—God has given you all that you need. Prayer is your biggest weapon.
Stay focused on the big stuff: Maybe the music isn’t playing during check-in, or the large group teacher is using a different object lesson than the one you wrote? Maybe your volunteer is running 5 minutes late or there is goldfish crunched into the carpet. In the big picture of Sunday morning, your energy needs to be on what matters most. When you get caught up in the little details and you find that you are the only one caring about them, it may not be that important. Are there things you just need to let go?
Do your best and let God do the rest: As cheesy as this is, there is some truth to it. My daughter learned this in preschool a few years ago and we still say it in our house. We as humans have limitations, and we have to recognize those limitations. When we run ourselves into the ground, we create a breeding ground for anxiety. When we forget to rest and practice sabbath, we leave space for the worry monster to fill our heart and mind with thoughts that are not glorifying to God. Do your best and work hard while also remembering that God works regardless of if we work 40 hours a week or 60.
Is your Sunday morning worry monster stealing your joy and keeping you from leading well, investing in your people, and teaching kids the Gospel. It doesn’t have to be like this forever. There are so many tools that we can add to our tool belt to use when we feel anxious. I am cheering you on.
Learn more from Sissy Goff in her latest book, The Worry-Free Parent.